Friends & Growing Up

somedays i reminisce about the past and i don't exactly know why.maybe because i'm trying to find a sense of peace.a sense of accepting everything that has happened because although the scars fade,the bruises heal and the physical marks go away,it doesn't really exactly fade away.remembering the bittersweetness of it all.remembering the pain that happened and the sweetness that came after and also the tears that keeps coming back.

remember those days when you pinky swear with your best friend?swear that no matter what that you will always be there for them?truth be told,promises and swears get broken everyday.even marriage vows are broken,what more,just mere promises to not leave your best friend.i may sound pessimistic but unfortunately that is the sad truth.i have lost count of friends that i have left behind or they left me behind in our years of growing up.

i have many great friends and some who i trust with my deepest darkest secrets,who i can trust to hear me cry on the phone and be there for me if i really need them but lately i feel like how long can i hold on to them?how long before growing up drifts us apart?when i was 17,i thought i knew it all.i thought i knew who to trust and who would always be there for me.

but now?i'm not sure because lately some people who have always been there for me has drifted apart for the moment and i feel really sad and i miss them a lot and some who i was never close with before in the past turns out to be the ones i can trust right now and be my shoulder to cry on in a sense.for me right now,growing up is just a motion i have to go through because honestly if growing up means keep getting my heart broken and supergluing it over and over again and losing and making friends again and again,maybe i should just stop hoping growing up would be fun.

btw,to the friends who have been there for me and still am,thank you.i appreciate it a lot.