The Last Time

Dear you who I once called my love,

I can't write as eloquent as Taylor Swift neither could I write a tearjerker like John Green but I guess I'm here to pen what could be possibly my last "love letter" to you. It has been about 4 years and 5 months, I guess? To the public and to the world, that was probably the last time we spoke. Little did they know about close to a year after everything had happened, we stumbled upon each's other paths and did speak although you said you did not know me.

I guess that was what hurt the most. It wasn't the fact that our relationship was abusive, it was the fact that after all that had happened, you could act like you don't know me. All I remember feeling was numb. Numb to the point that it took me awhile to react. I did not know whether to slap you and move on or just hand you back your keys and walk away. I did the latter but yet I still wish I had slapped you. If only to satisfy that stabbing feeling you left me.

We were together only for about 10 months. It wasn't very long neither was it very short. I do wish you were not the first because I regret it. I do not regret the time we spent together because I grew up from it but I do regret that I had thought you were going to be my fairy-tale ending. I ignored everyone when they tried to warn me against you but well, who was I to know that they were right.

I was in love and that was all I saw in you, love and goodness despite the fact that my anxious feelings tried to warn me from falling too hard. I didn't fall gradually, I fell hard and fast. Almost like a descending roller coaster ride that just kept going around in loops. Eventually when everything ended, it felt like a car crash because it happened so fast that we had no control over it.

All you had to do was prove that you would stay. But you couldn't cause you wouldn't. Even when you were with me, you were already looking for the next one. Even when we had commitment rings. Even when we had talked about marriage. Even when you were my first. Despite everything, I still held hope in you. I guess that was what made me stay even when you hit me and never stopped despite all of your promises.

I had the biggest faith and hope that you would change but that never came to be. At least not with me. Even after everything, I still wish you well and will not turn the other way if I saw you on the street. Although you would act like you don't know me and I have thrown out most things from back then, I kept the pictures to remind myself that out of those 10 short/long months we spent together, we did love each other at least at one point of time.

I fear that if I delete even the pictures, that would really erase the ten months that has impacted my life as a whole. Ten months is about the time that a new baby would be formed and come as a whole new life. I would consider those ten months I spent with you as being formed into a new person. I won't say that I'm completely over everything because how do you forget your first without carrying an essence of what happened over into the present.

As Miss Taylor Swift put it, I knew you were trouble but I did not care and still got tangled up in everything. The last time we ever spoke, you acted like you never knew me. Maybe you didn't because that was the new me, the stronger me, the me who would never let you walk all over me again. Like I said, this is probably the last "love letter" I will write addressing to you because it has been over four years and while my feelings will never really let go because you were my first, I think its time to say my peace and maybe someday, somehow you will acknowledge that you once knew me because when things were good, it was good.

Goodbye from someone you once called your love.

Enchanted

If i had known of this song in bout late november or early december,it would have been perfect.To WH,it's a little late but the lyrics are for you :)