hi everyone,
sorry for the lack of updates these past few months but i had loads of assignments,a part time job that kinda consumed my time.today i want to write about something that's been stuck in my head for quite some time but i just didn't know how to put it in words so i'll try to convey how i feel the best way possible so bear with me please.
i have been thinking about music and relationships recently.i've been driving a lot to uni and back so i keep hearing this song 'distance' by christina perri and jason mraz.the lyrics just makes me wanna cry because i was in that same situation quite a few years back but nothing was ever really resolved or rather things ended abruptly,suddenly and there was not much of a closure.
we just kind of moved on from that situation.i still see that person from time to time but everytime i bite back my lip and refrain from asking the most important question which is why.
so hearing that song just makes me keep tearing up and i choke up as i sing along to it while driving because i guess deep down i know that i will never get an answer to the question i want to ask and that things will probably never be resolved because that person cares too much about someone's feelings to even say the truth.
sometimes truth hurts but at the same time,it provides closure.Why am i talking about music relating to relationships? its because you might not be able to write down how you feel but someone else's lyrics could be related to how you are feeling or certain songs by certain artists can just trigger your memories about somebody.
I can't listen to jay chou songs without tearing up because that was a huge part of me & J's relationship which hurts even more knowing that J hates me now and considered our relationship meaningless.Pretty Girl (The Way) by sugarcult and love the way you lie part 1 and part 2 by eminem and rihanna described how bad was my relationship with the ex-domo.
i do not know if i will get closure with the person that i said the song distance reminds me of but if i ever could ask that person a question is 'why did you say you couldn't love me more when its clear that you did?'
some of you might think that i broke up with WH or something but no,we are still going strong,it's just that sometimes it's human curiosity this strange part of us who wants our questions to be answered no matter how futile it is.
no matter how much we know that the answer might hurt us or that the other party might lie to us,we desperately want a closure.being in a relationship is not easy but i think ending a relationship without any closure hurts even more and its harder because you are kept wondering what went wrong and you are left to guess for probably the rest of your life.
music just have this strong power to twist your emotions even when you don't want it to.sorry for the depressing first post after so many months but i just needed to get this out of my system.hopefully i'll write happier stuff soon :)
