I give up. I really do. No matter how much you try and try, it will never be reflected in someone else's eyes. Perception is really everything. Although there's a saying that if you assume then you are making an ass out of yourself and the person but assumption is always everything.
I am just about ready to throw the white flag for everything. When your feelings feel as messed up as this, sometimes there's just nothing to do but give up and wallow in a hole for a little bit. No one loves you as much as you want and no one will appreciate you until you are gone. As much as you want to avoid being hurt, there's no way to avoid it but to keep yourself buried and hidden out of sight.
Hate and love, they are both the same, just on opposite flip sides of the coin. But yet, the bitterness of both feels exactly the same.
