If we ever meet again,i'll still be burned out

i'm feeling so burned out by everything.

its highly annoying that i just wanna get

things done but i can't because the things

that are supposed to get done are other

people's work

its been stressful for me.i'm doing

my best to cope with everything.

i pity my domo sometimes.he ends

up having to listen to me rant

everything.

sometimes i feel like just screaming

because seriously i'm getting so tired

with everything.

i just want get things done.is it so hard?

i love you

do you know i just love staring at you while you sleep?

do you know i love you hugging me from behind

and you just leaning your head against mine?

do you know i love it when you take pictures of me?

do you know how much i'm so addicted to you?

I love it when our hands entwined together.

i love it when you smile at me when i just

meow at you

i love it when you look so sleepy because you look

so cute

i love it when you hug me tight and cry

because i know then that i'm so important to you

i love you for every lil thing.

sometimes i wish that i can say everything out

without being so bluntly obvious

but only three lil words convey everything

i love you

a lil love :)

hey,i did want to blog about this year but there are just too many good and also bad things to blog bout.for now,i'll leave you with a pic.

this is love :)
My Domo with me :)

p/s from now onwards,my love is known as my Domo :)

Lil Love

i loved it when you called me just to say hi
i loved it when we 'argue' on who to close
the call 1st.
i loved it when you said i love you back to me :)
i just love every lil thing you do to make me smile :)

Bits Of Emo

listening:Adam's Song by Blink-182,Gei Wo Yi Shou Ge De Shi Jian by Jay Chou

sometimes i get depressed for no reason at all.
maybe i do have reasons but i just refuse to acknowledge it.
its been more than 5 years since the turbulent years started.
people who know me best would know what happened back then
and honestly,i never ever want to go back to it.

his support at this point is what is keeping me strong.
i know the whole cliche thing about not depending
on someone so much but honestly,he is the one
keeping me from going back to what i did during those turbulent years.

I'll never disclose here what i did back then but trust me,
it ain't good.i still have marks from those years.emotionally,
physically and even mentally.Sometimes i wish i can be more public
but i know about backlashes and this is still somewhere i go
for my writing sanity so i wish to keep this blog like it is now.

Some posts are never meant for the public to read and comment on,
therefore if you notice,i've begun disabling comments for certain posts.
I'm sorry but i'm doing this to remain this place,somewhere i can go to
rant out everything.that's all for now.

I Miss You,Miss You.

listening to:I Miss You by Blink-182,Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance

I loved today.I loved your smile at me.
I loved leaning on you and staring into your eyes.
I loved your lil kisses.I loved your pats on my head.
I loved you pinching my cold nose.I loved you
volunteering to carry my bag.Although,i was
slightly annoyed,i loved you when you 'scolded'
me for being clumsy 'cause it means you're concerned
about me.
I loved your hugs and squeezes.
Most of all,i loved it when you said 'i love you'
and 'i love you too' when i said it :)

Baby,Baby,I've Loved You A Long Time

Listening to:Epic Last Song by Does It Offend You,Yeah?

I loved it when you held me as i cry.
I loved it when you reassured me as i cried.
I loved it as you just rub my back as i cry
and let me cry as long as i wanted
until i felt alright.

Problems are something every couple
will face and i'm glad we always talk things out.
I know i'm being pretty emotional these days
and i apologized if i scared you and make you
worry about me.

I'll be fine as long as you're alright.
I love you.Remember,forever promise :)

Words Fall Through Me

listening to:Little Lovers So Polite by Silversun Pickups,Your Call by Secondhand Serenade,Falling Slowly by Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova


This is strange.i feel your presence around me so much.
every time i cry,every time i scream into my pillow,
every time my heart breaks on the inside,i feel you even more.
Perhaps,this was why Bella kept torturing herself just to feel Edward more.
The thing that hurts me the most is how close i feel you with me but you're
not even actually here.at least,not physically.
I found myself checking out a guy today.he was pretty cute & had a cute voice.
A cute voice with accents.You know how I'm like for guys who have accents right?
Strangely i felt guilt.I felt guilty for checking that guy out.
At that moment,i missed you so much.i missed that day.
The day where we just sat in MPH reading mangas next to each other
and you kissing my forehead when i said "i love you".

I miss it so much.Even typing out this post,it urges me to cry.
I worry about you all the time.i think about you all the time.
I miss you so much.What i miss most now is just to lean my head against your chest
and you playing with my hair.

Remember when we fought and i walked away from you?The whole time,
i was looking back to see if you were following me but you weren't because i
was being childish.my heart broke.I acknowledge,i was being childish
but sometimes i wish you would give in and just run after me if i ever do that again.

I've been sighing a lot these days.been staying up waiting for your text msgs.Don't get me
wrong,i understand that you're busy because of work.i just miss you too much and i acknowledge it.

this is just a rambling post.don't mind me but i did mean most things i said.i love you.i really do.

Simple Lil Thing :)

One of the things i love most about you
is when you kiss me when i say i love you.
You may not say it back to me but your
actions does more than words :)
I love you.

Wo Ai Ni

8am Thoughts

I can't exactly say i love the turbulence of this.Sure,it keeps things fresh but at the same time,when it does happen,it hurts.real bad.

The Turbulence

Relationships.Would you prefer a calm relationship but it doesn't feel right or a turbulent relationship but it just feels oh so right?I have been watching Gilmore Girls today.I always found that Rory & Logan always seem like the perfect couple who could just never be perfect just becoz their relationship is really turbulent but you can see how right it feels for both of them at the same time.

George & Yukari from Paradise Kiss is another example.As you watch Paradise Kiss,you can actually feel how much love they have for each other but in the end,Yukari ends up with the person she needs and not that the person she wants just because its the right thing to do.

Would you rather be in a relationship that's so normal and you don't really feel the love or would you rather end up being in a relationship that is so turbulent but you know how much you both love each other and how right it feels at that point in time?

Is it worth it?Risking your whole feelings for that moment in time?That moment in time where you feel so alive because you know how much you love,how much you hurt but most of all,how much you badly want to be with that person?I believe its worth it.How many people can actually say they have been so in love that it hurts not to be in love with that person?

I have this theory where most people had that one chance or that one relationship which was so turbulent but at the same time,its that one person they loved the most and the one person they wanted the most but they chose the conventional way whereby they end up with the person who is supposed to be right for them but honestly,i believe those people always have questions in the back of their mind on whether they made the right choice.

As for me,my choice is to have the turbulent relationship whereby i feel its right for me,whereby i know I'm really in love and my whole heart is in it.I know Rory & Logan/George & Yukari never ended up together but i know that in a real life fairy tale,anything is possible and I'm not giving up.Not ever.

Say It's True,I'll Never Ask For Anyone But You.

I have been staring at this blog composing page for awhile not knowing what to type for this post.I want to be cryptic yet at the same time,i want to be straightforward.

I keep biting and peeling my nails and skin as i do not know what to type for this post.I feel confused,i feel mixed up.I have pending posts but I'm not in the mood to do it now.Have you ever felt so confused and frustrated that you just wanna scream but at the same time,you just wanna curl up and cry?

I feel that way.I know what my cure is but currently i have no access to that particular cure & it hurts.I know i sound way too cryptic but i have my own principles that i won't spill out really personal stuff here.

My head spins.My heart hurts.I want and need access to my cure but i can't get to my cure.To my replacement cures,thanks for listening to my rants,to my tears on the phone.Sorry to let you know that i still ache,i still hurt,i still feel like crying but thanks for everything.Unfortunately,only my particular cure can cure this heartache.

Maybe I'm too impatient,maybe i ask for too much,maybe i think too much.All the maybes.To be honest,my heart aches,my tears threaten to spill,my head spins and i keep biting my lips to keep everything calm and composed even though i know its far from being composed.

Every time this hurts,it hurts both ways.I know it way too well.

Canon Photomarathon 2009

mood:tired...
listening to:random songs by S.H.E,Fahrenheit & Utada Hikaru on youtube

Yesterday was the Canon Photomarathon 2009.It was held in Sunway Lagoon.Registration time started at 7am.Me & my bro left the house at about 5.45am as we had to pick up my love from his house & Steven from the LRT station as well.We got to Sunway Pyramid Tower Hotel about 7.30am if i'm not mistaken.Parked the car and walked all the way to the lagoon's elephant walk entrance.Let's just put it this way,its FAR!

Registered ourselves and waited around for the marathon to start.We had the usual delays in waiting and all.So while we waited around,Canon decided to ask their youth ambasabor who is a singer named Ryan to sing for us.He's cute and all but i think in my humble opinion,his dancing skills were better than his singing.

The participants all waiting patiently

The youth ambasador who
sang for us

Not long after that,the briefing started.We had all the usual rules such as respecting the visitors and etc.Finally they announced the themes.

Camwhored with my love using
my Akago
while we waited for the marathon to
start

The marathon started about 10am.There were some problems initially for me & my love as Canon did not exactly brief on whether or not,we were allowed to use the theme park facilities.Initially me and my love asked one of the lagoon's employees on it and they said its ok,that's why we decided to get wet and get good splash shots but much later as we dried ourselves after we got the shots,we got warned @-@ We were given until 3pm to take shots as 3pm-7pm was the time for us to upload the pics but some trouble occured.Read on if you wanna know what happened.

I submitted this as my
shot for the theme "red"

Got myself wet for the sake
of shots [My love took this
using my Akago,he used my
old Cybershot to join the
marathon]

I submitted this as my shot for the theme
"shooting in progress"
I submitted this as my
shot for the theme
"splash"
[Model in pic is my
love :)]

Me & my love got all our shots done by about 12 plus.We decided to play around for a bit and had lunch and also modeled for Steven for some shots before we went to upload our shots.The problem with uploading started about 4 plus pm.

I had a problem with my log in ID.Apparently,they can't find my IC num in the system which is absurd as i had online registered couple of weeks before already.So ok,fine,i waited for them to rectify my problem.One of the Canon guys came and said they found the back number of my IC num which is unique to a person and he said he will check on the problem and get back to me which he never did as the section i was at to upload the pics was closed because of server problems and we were asked to move to another section.

I got to the other section.I was once again refered to another Canon guy @-@ I was getting really annoyed and frustrated at this point because earlier i had gotten myself to a pc already and all because of my log in ID problem,i can't upload my pics.The other guy took my details such as my name,phone number,e-mail and everything all down and told me he will check on it and call me which he never did.Come to think of it,i should have gotten his number instead of giving him mine.I still feel uncomfortable about it.

Eventually he passed by my section again and i asked him again and he said that the official Canon people will call me if they have any news which they never did until i had manually uploaded my pictures already! Canon,the server crashed at least 4 times.I waited for almost 2 hours before i could even so-called upload my pics.The server crashed twice,you should have stopped the so-called online uploading and started manual uploading!It was very frustrating to just sit around and wait for nothing.My love kept having problems with his uploads as well.He became my punching bag because i was so frustrated.I sat down there from about 4pm till about 6.45pm,i think without doing anything.Nobody from Canon really explained to me what is the problem with my log in ID.In fact,the 1st Canon guy had the accusing tone and said that i probably did not register.I tell you,if i wasn't controlling myself,i would have given him a piece of my mind.Eh,i wasn't the only one with this problem so you meant to say that everyone that had a problem with their log in ID did not register?I could have opened up my gmail and showed him the e-mail that i got that confirmed my registration.

So about close to 7pm,they finally started asking people to manually upload which was pointless as most participants who got so frustrated already left.So me,my love,my bro & Steven manually uploaded our pics and left for dinner and came back to wait for the results.Problems came with the results as well.

Frustrated participants with the server
problems

More frustrated participants

Long line of participants waiting to upload
their pics but can't because of server
problems

Finally they announced to stop all uploading/
downloading [downloading?]
because of the problems @-@

We came back from dinner and waited patiently for the results.They showed pictures submitted by the participants while we waited and if the photographer who took the shots were there,they were asked by the emcee to come and explain about the shot if the emcee liked their shot.My love's shot was selected :)

My love's shot that was featured
:)
[I am the one in red,he submitted this for
the theme "red"]

Took a pic of my love
while we were bored when
we were waiting for the results

Oh yeah,remember when i said that the results had a problem?As a result of the major server crash,it took the judges a bit longer to receive our pics and as a result,the judging got delayed.They said the earliest they can judge finish and give our results would be around 12am @-@ That was nuts!!! Sorry Canon,i love you & i love my Akago but honestly,you let the whole lot of us down yesterday.Most of us,if not all went back as they said they will put up the results on their Facebook which came out according to people who kept watch about 4 plus am @-@ More comments on the event are on this Facebook event wall.

Well,this event was tiring and also frustrating but it was also a lot of fun.Thanks to my bro for being the driver,Steven for giving me comments on which shots i should submit,Mr King Lee who taught me and my love how to play with some settings on my Akago and last but not least,my love who was my biggest supporter,who came and accompany me despite not having enough sleep,who was my pillow when i got tired,who was my punching bag and biting bag when i was so frustrated with the log in ID & server problems and who loves me for me :)Btw,you took awesome shots,my love :) Thanks for everything.

Pics from my marathon are here.Have fun browsing and commenting if you have my FB.Canon,thanks for the marathon but please take my comments with a pinch of salt and improve on it :)

Cute Song

Emotionally Unstable

CF 2009 Coming!!!

Hey ppl,

Taylor's Asaban Fest was just last week.If you want pics from there,the link will be at the end of the post but 1st things first,Comic Fiesta 2009 is happening on the 19-20 December 2009 at Sunway Pyramid.Yes,its gonna be back and I'm sure it will be bigger & better :) Details will be released in due time :)

There is a booklet contest happening for Comic Fiesta 2009 and the deadline is 17 October 2009.I know art students.Not all but most of them love the adrenaline rush of rushing projects and all so about 2 weeks to deadline,i guess its good enough time?If anyone who wants more details,they can click here

I heard there's also a Comic Fiesta 100 days countdown whereby if i'm not mistaken,ppl post up drawings each day? You can view the drawings here
If you are asking whether there are any events running up to Comic Fiesta,we do have it :) There's gonna be one event organized by Animax next Saturday which is the 10 of October 2009 at Times Square at the time of 11am-6pm.The event is for visitors to witness the biggest on-ground formation of Inuyasha for the first time in Animax's history.Animax is also giving visitors a chance to be the first to catch the special preview of Inuyasha The Final Act outside of Japan.

Psst,i heard there's gonna be prizes such as pocket video cameras, printers, limited edition toys and many more at the event as well.So go!!! Don't miss it on it.The Facebook event page is here

Just to throw couple of pics from TAF last week to build up anticipation for CF 2009 :)




Anywayz pics from TAF is here.Have fun looking at them :) CF 2009 is coming :)

I Will Be All That You Want

I Guess I'm Trying To Say I'm Sorry But It Always Comes Out Wrong

Another day without you with me is like a blade that cuts right through me but I can wait, I can wait forever

mood:tired,emo,choking up my tears
listening to:I Miss You by Simple Plan,I Can Wait Forever by Simple Plan,Fall To Pieces by Avril Lavigne

The headaches,the tears,the
curling up & choking down the
tears.
It will all be worth it
in the end.
I'm sure of it.

I Can Wait Forever by Simple Plan

You look so beautiful today
When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away
So I try to find the words that I could say
I know distance doesn't matter but you feel so far away

And I can't lie every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face tonight
'Cause I just can't take it

[Chorus]
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won´t stop bleeding
But I can wait, I can wait forever

You look so beautiful today
It's like every time I turn around I see your face
The thing I miss the most is waking up next to you
When I look into your eyes, man I wish that I could stay

And I can't lie every time I leave my heart turns gray
And I want to come back home to see your face tonight
'Cause I just can't take it

[Chorus]
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won´t stop bleeding
But I can wait, I can wait, I can wait forever

I know it feels like "forever"
I guess that's just the price I gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch makes it better
Until that day there's nothing else that I can do
And I just can't take it
(I just can't take it)

[Chorus]
Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait, I can wait forever
When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won´t stop bleeding
But I can wait, I can wait, I can wait forever

I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever
I can wait forever