Disclaimer:This is related to me being jobless again so if you are sick of reading about me saying things about being jobless then please wait for the next post,i won't promise it will be more interesting but i think it will be more enjoyable and funnier than reading about me being jobless...
So yeah,i met up with KZ over the weekend and let's just say,even at 25 turning 26,this guy has the ability to make little 22 turning 23 me (our birthdays are like less than a week apart) feel like i'm 13 all over again and he is the same 16 year old guy advising (although i must say it feels like he is sort of scolding me) me.
The dream job that i wanted? It went the way of the Titanic,hit the iceberg and has sunk into the bottom so in other words,i got rejected yet again. I realised that i have been using a lot of Titanic analogy in my conversations these days but then again,i guess it's another way to say that it is a finale in a most tragic sense.
I had a conversation with KZ earlier and i have actually been wondering if i went and did the wrong degree or my choice of wanting to be a journalist or writer is all wrong.He told me that he can't say for sure since he knows nothing about journalism or writing however he did ask me to give other stuff a try and he was like "well,just try for six months if you do get it and if after six months,you really don't like it and you are crying everyday in your car on your way home then start from scratch again but at least you did give it a try".
One more thing that he said that really made me feel like i was 13 again was that he told me to stop all of the drama and basically fake myself if i have to.Well,i got to say that what he said is true,i have this drama streak with me and sometimes (if not most of the time) i just brutally say what i want to say without necessarily taking people's feelings into consideration at all and yes,that is very high school of me.
His exact words were "stop all of the drama (insert the name he calls me here) and just kind of grow up,you are not in high school anymore.problems are things you tell close friends,your co-workers do not care.So if you have to fake it and have self deprecating humor then do so and maybe they will be more accepting".
So yeah...his advice does sting but it is true,people have come to a point that they are selfish and all they care is about themselves.Why would they care if i had a car breakdown or a fight with my bf or anything else at all? So maybe undervaluing myself and just act like i'm happy go lucky all the time and be extremely sociable might just work...
I love to think that being honest to a person is for their own good but i guess it's not very true after all...I'm still a bit mixed up on whether to give up in finding a job in writing and move on to other stuff like PR and advertising or just take a break.
Some of you might argue that i have been on a break for a long time however i have actually been actively looking for a job since December 2012 so yeah,i have not actually not mail out resumes for quite some time now.Hence i'm unsure if i should stop at the moment cause i feel neither here nor there but I know that there is something out there that is right for me however right now,i just can't see it and it seems quite bleak...
Although having conversations with KZ makes me feel like i'm 13 all over again,there is nothing i won't give to be that age again,at least just for a moment.Right now,i feel totally in between.I'm no longer in high school or college or even university but neither do i feel like an adult.I may be turning 23 but i still have that rebellious streak in me and in the words of Coldplay, "nobody said it was easy,nobody said it was gonna be this hard".
"I'll check in tomorrow if i don't wake up dead"- Alone Together by Fall Out Boy
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