Closure?

And so we met, it felt like all of the other times and yet at the same time, it wasn't the same feeling at all. I guess we all needed time to grow up and confront our deepest feelings and fears. I think that what I feared most was to confirm that nothing in our relationship for that moment was never real and that everything I thought was real wasn't actually.

But I think that you had more fears than me, I think that you feared falling again and so a distance and gap which was never intended was created. I think what I felt sad most was not the fact that you lied but more of how I knew you lied and the fact that you actually still had feelings then for me although I guess both of us know we can never go back to those moments.

We talked and I asked questions, questions which you were obviously hesitant to answer but at the end of the day, you did and I honestly had thought that I would get my closure but ends up, I have more questions in my head than ever before. You knew there was something wrong between me and that arsehole, why did you not rescue me out of it? You knew you broke my heart, why did you not ever address it instead of ignoring the giant elephant in the room? You knew you still loved me so why did you leave me?

I guess I'm just typing these words out here for the sake of typing because I know that it will never reach you and that this will be our swan song letter.